Once upon a time, the rules to football were a lot different. Teams couldn’t substitute, so every player had to play offense and defense. And those were the rules that produced two-way legends like Red Grange, Jim Thorpe, Chuck Bednarik, and the immortal Pudge Heffelfinger. This style of football is known as The One Platoon System. Or, the more bad-ass sounding, Iron Man Football.

So what if the greatest NFL teams of all-time played each other under Iron Man Rules? Guys we know only as offensive players would have to play defense. And vice versa. Difficult cuts would have to be made.  

Of course, this style of football could be incredibly dangerous for explosive modern athletes. So let’s just pretend helmets and pads are so advanced, they’ve mitigated the risk of a catastrophic injury on every other play. And CTE doesn’t exist. Because in this Parallel Universe, Wakanda ended its isolation much earlier and shares—well, sells—its Vibranium absorption technology to the rest of the world. If only….

The 1978 Steelers vs 1995 Cowboys. Iron Man Rules. What would it look like?  

Picking the Steelers Lineup

Defense Must Haves: (the guys that are so good, you just put them on the team and figure out where to put them on Offense later): Mean Joe Greene, LC Greenwood, Jack Lambert, Jack Ham, Mel Blount.

Offense Must Haves: Franco Harris….

I know what you’re thinking. Only Franco Harris as a must have on the Offensive side? Yeah, I think so. I’m pretty sure you’re gonna have to run the ball in Iron Man. But do you have to pass? And where’s Terry Bradshaw playing on D? Are you better off if you keep almost the whole D intact and just run the option on offense with Franco, Mel Blount, and Jack Ham? Or maybe Rocky Bleier? Or are you better off with Bradshaw and Lynn Swann on offense (but potentially exposed on D)?

The Team

Offense

• LT  LC Greenwood

• LG  Mean Joe Green

• C Mike Webster

• RG Dwight White

• RT  Jack Lambert

• WR1  Lynn Swann

• WR2 Mel Blount

• HB  Franco Harris

• FB  Donnie Shell

• QB Terry Bradshaw

• Kicker/Punter Terry Bradshaw

Defense

• DE   LC Greenwood

• DT   Mean Joe Greene

• DT   Mike Webster

• DE   Dwight White

• OLB Jack Ham

• MLB  Jack Lambert

• OLB Terry Bradshaw

• CB  Mel Blount

• FS  Franco Harris

• SS  Donnie Shell

• CB Lynn Swann

  Tough Cuts:  HB Rocky Bleier, WR John Stallworth.   

I figure you want Bradshaw and Swann to give the defense something to think about. Would they be not-terrible enough playing linebacker and corner for that to make sense? Questionable, but I say yes. And once you’ve got Swann, and you know you’ve got Deion covering him, it’s probably a good idea to have Stallworth on the other side. But against a supersized team from the 90s, I think you need a bigger guy. So I'd take Defensive End Dwight White, a 255 pounder and 2nd Team All-Pro a few years prior. It's a tough call.

Now for the team that the Steelers are playing in this Imaginary Classic. The 1995 Dallas Cowboys.

Picking the Cowboys Lineup

You may be asking yourself, why the 1995 Cowboys? Why not ’92? Or ’77? I got two words for you: Prime. Time.

Defense Must Haves: Charles Haley, Darren Woodson, Deion Sanders
Offense Must Haves: Emmitt Smith, Michael Irvin, Larry Allen.

So that’s 6 spots down and 5 to go. I know what you’re thinking. No Troy Aikman? Afraid not. For one, I don’t see tremendous linbebacker potential in Troy. But the main reason? The coach. It’s Barry Switzer. Oh, did I forget to mention there were actual coaches for this thing? Anyway, Barry would have no problem kicking Troy to the curb so he could run the option with someone fast. Just like he did at Oklahoma. Maybe Troy can transfer to the 2000 Ravens or something.

The Team

Offense

• LT  Charles Haley      

• LG Nate Newton

• C   Robert Jones (he can learn) 

• RG Larry Allen

• RT Erik Williams

• WR1 Michael Irvin

• WR2 Brock Marion

• TE Darren Woodson

• HB Emmitt Smith

• FB  Daryl Johnston

• QB Deion Sanders

• Kicker/Punter Daryl Johnston

Defense

• DE  Charles Haley

• DT  Nate Newton

• DT   Larry Allen

• DE   Erik Williams

• OLB  Darren Woodson

• MLB  Robert Jones

• OLB  Daryl Johnston

• CB  Emmitt Smith

• FS  Brock Marion

• SS  Michael Irvin

• CB Deion Sanders

Tough Cuts: Jay Novacek (could be an interesting TE/LB).  Mark Tuinei (A Pro Bowl Left Tackle who played some D-Line in college).

The Game Plans The Cowboys run the option with Deion and Emmitt, with Moose Johnston and three All Pro Offensive Lineman leading the way in a mission to smash the mouths of some Steel Curtain greats. Deion played baseball, so he should be able to sling a few balls over to the Playmaker, right? Either way, I’m thinking Steelers put 9, 10, maybe 11 guys in the box. Is there any way Deion can throw a few deep balls to himself? Is that legal? Somebody look that up for me. I'm also wondering if the ‘Boys run the option to Scary Terry's side every single time. Maybe you move The Original TB12 to the middle and put the two Jacks on the edges to contain Deion.

When the Steelers have the ball, expect them to pound the rock with Franco. Also expect them to run at Deion a lot, to force him to do his impression of a football player making a tackle as much as possible. Maybe they even mix in a little option with TB12 and Franco, with Donnie Shell and Mel Blount also in the mix.

The big question: Is the risk of Bradshaw at LB worth the potential reward of acrobatic downfield catches by Swann? Is there any chance Swann ditches Deion for even a second the entire game? I dunno. But I’d watch.   

And the Pudge Heffelfinger MVP Trophy goes to…? If it the Cowboys win, that probably means Deion got loose a few times. Maybe on offense or on one of those glorious FUBAR punts where they they actually kick it to him. If the Steelers were to win, I’d say Jack Ham must have a made a few big catches to go with about thirty-three tackles.

A Prize Fight That Goes The Distance—the Cowboys have three 300 hundred pounders on the Lines, including Larry Allen, a guy who could bench 700. The Steelers’ biggest guy is Mean Joe Greene, whose listed playing weight was only 275, though I hear it was a really mean 275. The next largest Steelers are all in the 225-250 lb range. So size would be a huge advantage for the Cowobys….early in the game. That’s when they’d push the Steelers around. But how’s that Cowboy cardio going to hold up for a whole game? Could be rough. This game could be a little like Ali vs Foreman, with the Steelers in the Ali role, trying to rope-a-dope the Cowboys into wearing themselves down. It could also be like a Rocky movie. Hmm. Maybe Rocky Bleier does need to be out there. And I wouldn't be surprised if Jack Lambert got his tooth knocked out.