The Internet says flying cars are just…about…here.  But is that really true? It depends how you define “flying car”. If you’re talking about a car that you buy for a half a million so you can drive to the airport, unfurl some wings, and then take off from a runway, provided you have a pilot’s license, then get ready, because you’re about to get some brand new toys.  These flying cars are going to be a REAL GAME CHANGER for wealthy pilots.  But if you’re talkin’ about something that looks like a Delorean that you keep in your garage and fly in between sky scrapers while evading overzealous bill collectors, then, naw man. Go volunteer for a cryogenic sleep experiment. We’ll try to remember to wake you up in 50 years and let you know then how close we are to ubiquitous Blade Runner style rides.   

Yes, the technology now exists to allow really small planes to take off and land vertically—and to not have to mess with a runway. Cool.  But some of this technology involves rotors, which makes the flying things helicopters.  Either that, or they have wings, which makes them planes.

Flying cars are supposed to move like the ones on The Jetsons. Wings would just mean you’re taking up 5 lanes of sky traffic. Now that’s not nimble. And not that cool.    

Uber Air has been dominating the flying car headlines. They’re aiming to roll out by 2023. And they just had a successful test. 2023 might sound far-off, but that’s just 4 years away.

The Uber Air concept goes something like this:  just catch a conventional Uber to skyscraper that has a helipad, pray to God the elevator is working, then make your way to the top and catch your air taxi—which let’s be real—is a cramped mini-plane with wings. Call me crazy, but I’m thinking a quick flight may not turn out so great after a night of Jager bombs and street tacos, but hey, at least you’ll be able to drink in Hollywood and sleep in Laguna Beach. Or traverse the Dallas Metroplex, where Uber Air is also hoping for a roll-out. Or Dubai—but what the hell are you doing in Dubai anyway? You think you’re better than me?

You have a point.

And my point is this: if movies and cartoons have you dreaming of flying a car uptown pumpin’ some bass with the top down, don’t let them give you urban taxi planes and call it flying cars. Maybe urban taxi planes might end up being cool. But it ain’t the same thing.