How to Mess With Your Wilt Loving Uncle Part 3: Tell Him Kobe's 81 Was More Impressive Than Wilt's 100
Here’s another fun topic to bring up to your Wilt loving uncle the next time he cracks double figures in beers at the family barbeque. Tell him Kobe's 81 was more impressive than Wilt's 100.
What Your Uncle Will Say: Laughable. 100 points in a game will never be broken. Got a certain ring to it to it too. 81 points in a game? Who gives a rat’s ass? Now I know from have these types of discussions with you before, that you’re about to put on your lab coat and and get out a calculator or something. Well I got some math for you. You know what they didn’t have in Wilt’s day? The three point shot! The three pointer was created much later, so little prisses like Carrie Irving and Stephy Curry could go out in their little safe space and find joy. Well, Wilt wasn’t some flyweight pussy. So he didn’t need the three pointer. But Kobe sure did. Kobe had to make 7 3-pointers to get his 81 points. So why don’t you me a favor Poindexter and take out your protractor and subtract 7 from 81 and tell me what you get! Because that’s how many Kobe woulda had if he’d to play under Wilt’s rules. And what’s that, 74? Wow. What an accomplishment. Just barely missed a hundred….by a quarter of hundred. I rest my case.
What You’ll Say: Really? You got 3 Nattys left. But you’re absolutely right about the 3 pointer. Well not the part about it being for pussies. But you gotta factor it in to the debate. Crazy that we actually agree on something. Now here’s the math you’re not gonna like.
What Your Uncle Will Say: Here we go again.
What’s You’ll Say: Remember how I’ve told you about how much faster the pace was when Wilt played? I’m sure we must also agree that more trips up and down the court equals more chances to score, right? Well the score of Wilt’s 100 point game was 169-147. The score of Kobe’s 81 point game was 122-104. In Kobe’s game, the Lakers had 88 official field goal attempts and took 33 free throws. Wilt’s Warriors had….115 field goal attempts and….52 free throws! Kobe scored 66% of his team’s points in his game. Wilt scored 59.1% of his team’s points in his. And I know what you’re about to say! Kobe had the 3 point shot! He sure did. So let’s pretend Kobe only scored 74 like you said he would without the 3. If Kobe had 74 out of 122, that’d still be. 60.6% of his team’s points, which last I checked, is greater than 59.1%. Then again, if Kobe didn’t have the 3 pointer, nobody should have had it, right? So let’s take all the Laker 3 point shots and make them 2s. Then they Lakers would have only had 112 points and Kobe’s 74 would be….66% of their total points.
What Your Uncle Will Say: Wait…
What’s You’ll Say: You know what else? Wilt shot 36 of 63 from the field (57%). Kobe shot 28 of 46 (60%). Wilt took 32 free throws. Kobe took 20. Now, before you say Wilt was able to get up more shots due to his superior virility and overall manpowers, let’s just go back in time to one of my favorite childhood memories. Remember that time we were watching Sports Center and saw Ricky Davis miss a shot on the wrong basket to try to get a triple double? And then you shot the TV? It was a .38, right? Well, what caliber would you have used if you’d been watching the Wilt game and you saw his team intentionally foul the entire fourth quarter to get him extra shots even though they were up 20 the entire friggin’ time? A .45? An AK? A shoulder fired rocket launcher? Or did you just not know that? You can’t have people messing with the integrity of the game, just to get stats right? In case you’re wondering nobody had to mess wih the integrity of the game like that when Kobe got 81. Sorry not sorry if I just wrecked your whole worldview. By the way, Jesus didn’t have blue eyes either.