Byron Allen: The Comedian Who Bought The Weather Channel
A few weeks ago a comedian bought The Weather Channel....sort of. Don’t get me wrong—he paid the money—it’s his channel. It's a more a question of whether "comedian" is the really the best label here.
The comedian is Byron Allen. The name is probably familiar but you may not know why.
* Byron Allen was once known primarily a comedian. He started doing stand-up at 14. In 1980, he became the youngest stand-up to do the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, at age 18.
* He did a parents-just-don’t-understand bit in nasally voice that could have been the inspiration for Erkel. In fairness, he had a cold. It won’t land in anyone’s You Tube rotation, but he was poised and he got laughs.
* Allen was “discovered” by Jimmie Walker at 14 and hired as a writer. According to Walker, he also discovered, among others, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Robert Smigel (aka Triumph the Insult Comic Dog), and Jack “Deep Thoughts” Handey. This team of young comics wrote for Walker—not for a TV show—but for his stand-up act. And this was their big break. Man, the 70s were trippy.
* Jimmie Walker discovered a lot of people and they’ve discovered more money than he has. My phone tells me Jay Leno is worth $350 Million. And Letterman is worth $400 million. So is Byron Allen.
* Byron Allen is probably most know for two TV shows: Entertainers with Byron Allen and Kickin’ it with Byron Allen. Each show is a series of interviews with actors promoting their movies. The show are about 50% actual interview and 50% movie trailer.
* These are shows you wind up watching while nursing a hangover on a Saturday afternoon because you didn’t pay your cable bill and it’s what comes on after Xena: Warrior Princess.
* What’s the difference between Entertainers and Kickin’ It? Is there a difference? No one can really say.
* Since Byron Allen is now worth $400 million he doesn’t kick it with the entertainers anymore. He outsources the interviews. Sometimes to this one guy; sometimes to a voice-over. But Allen still has his name on the shows. Because Kickin' it With This One Guy doesn't have the same ring to it.
* Full disclosure: these are A list stars who being interviewed. That voice-over is kickin’ it with Tom Cruise and Angelina Jolie, not Screech and Willie Ames.
* Fuller disclosure, these interviews are done at press junkets—where stars and directors show up for the express purpose of meeting with the press to promote their movies.
* Entertainment Studios is Allen’s production company. They’ve produced lots of other cheap shows over the years. There have been plenty of TV courtroom programs. Because Byron Allen is the type who watches The People’s Court and says to himself “We need about 63 more of these.”
* Allen also created a sitcom called Mr. Box Office. Bill Bellamy plays a movie star who assaults a paparazzi and is sentenced to teach —and I’ll just quote the website because no one could say it better than this—“an unruly and vivacious bunch” of students at South Central High.
* Have you ever been unruly and vivacious? You should try it sometime. It's liberating.
* Since Byron Allen is first and foremost a comedian, it should come as no surprise that he’s produced some comedy shows. Like Comedy Jam. Not Def Comedy Jam. Just Comedy Jam. And a show called Comics Unleashed that was on TV during the aughts. After appearing on it, Norm MacDonald said “You couldn’t be more leashed.”
* Here’s how Allen made his fortune according to indiewire.com. Instead of selling his TV shows to networks, he gives them away for free. In exchange for the gift of the free program, he gets the channel to allow him to sell half of the show’s ad time. So even though he’s peddling crap, with all the adverting sales he ends up coming out $400 million ahead.
* This is where the story gets interesting. Byron Allen is not done. In the last few years, has sued cable providers like Comcast and AT&T for millions for refusing to work with black distribution companies, alleging racial bias. These suits weren’t just thrown out of court either. A&T settled. The Comcast suit may be dead in water though. Interestingly, who do think Byron Allen bought the Weather Channel from? Yup, it was Comcast.
* Byron Allen talks some pretty heavy shit to powerful people. For example, he called Barack Obama “a white President in black face.” And he named Al Sharpton in his suit against Comcast, alleging that Sharpton took a cushy, high paying TV host job in exchange for providing political cover for the company's discriminatory practices. He accused Al Sharpton of being a pawn of The Man and called him “The least expensive negro."
* Byron Allen may seem like petulant, rich guy, but he’s also willing to confront institutional racism. Like posing the question, “Why is Eric Garner on the sidewalk selling cigarettes instead of owning the store?”
* Are his attacks on institutional racism sincere? Or are they just a way to apply pressure to get big deals get done? How the hell should I know? I’m still trying to figure out the difference between Entertainers with Byron Allen and Kickin’ It with Byron Allen.
* Entertainment Studios has gone legit. Where they once produced TV crap like Mr. Box Office, now they distribute major motion pictures. But no matter how much money these movies make, Bill Bellamy, not Byron Allen, will be the true Mr. Box Office. Because he taught those kids. But not as much as they taught him.
* Entertainment Studios’ movies include Hostiles, Chappaquiddick, and Hurricane Heist, which I'm assuming will be airing soon on the Weather Channel.
* Allen says he wants to be as big like Disney. If there’s ever a Byron Allen Land or a Byron Allen World, I want to go on the Hurricane Heist ride.
* Allen says “Powerful people” tried to prevent him from putting out Chappaquiddick. He seemed to really enjoy that he got to tell the Kennedy’s and their proxies to kiss his ass.
* Maybe getting made fun over the years for being corny has made Byron Allen an angry, possibly righteous dude. Or maybe he’s just self-righteous and still corny, just in a rich assholey way. Regardless, he’s definitely more interesting. And it we’ll probably be hearing from him again.