The Shoe Wars All-Time Greats 3 On 3 Classic
Picture a 3 on 3 tournament. Of all-time greats. Outdoor games. An overcast spring afternoon at The Rucker. Or a breezy day at Venice Beach. Big time crowds. TV too.
The main rule for team forming: for any 3 guys to play together, they have to have worn the same brand of shoe at some point during their career. Probably goes without saying that they'll be playing the tourney in them too.
Imagine these teams have been created. And seeded in a 17 team tournament. Why 17 you ask? There had to be play-in game.
A few other things:
The teams are era-cohesive with a few exceptions. Biggest exception—I couldn’t resist a 3 generation Laker Adidas squad.
Guys heavily associated with a particular shoe didn’t get put on a team for another brand. I couldn’t bring myself to put Scottie PIppen on the Avia team, even though he played his first few seasons in them, since he went on to have his own Nikes.
On the other hand, I had no problem putting Dominque on the Reebok team. We may all have had the poster of him reverse dunking in his Brooks, but ‘Nique got tired of their weak promotion and became the Reebok Pump OG in 1989 (even if Dee Brown’s dunk contest is what made Pumps blow up).
Ok, I admit it. The Celtic Greats Adidas Team is a bit of stretch. Bill Russell is more associated with Converse All-Stars or his indie Bristol shoe. And Sam Jones also was more of a Cons man. Since flat-top John Havlicek also wore Chuck T’s, this could have been a Converse All-Stars team, but I figure the Celts being the Celts, they’d scheme their way into playing in the more technologically advanced sneaker. And all three did all wear Adidas. Pics of Havlicek in them are easy to find, and you’ll notice Russell and Jones sporting Adidas in the 1969 Finals.
What else? Oh yeah, no current players. Well, except for three: LeBron James, Kevin Durant, and Kawhi Leonard. LBJ and KD may still be playing but they’re already Hall of Famers. So they’ve joined up to form what promises to be the most hated team in this tourney. And New Balance needed a third man—so Kawhi, another future HOFer, had to get in.
The Rules: Double elimination tournament. Games are to 21 (win by 2), make-it-take-it, must clear any change of possession. There are 1s and 2s but the 2s are from 30 feet and out (sorry, no corner threes). Two refs, hand-checking is allowed. Post play? Reasonably rough but anything violent’s a foul.
The Seeds.
1. Nike Big Deals—Jordan, LeBron, Durant
2. Converse Giants (canvas Cons)—Wilt, Oscar, Elgin
3. Adidas Lakers Greats—Kareem, Kobe, West
4. Adidas Celtics Greats—Russell, Havlicek, Sam Jones
5. Converse Legends (leather Cons)—Magic, Larry, Dr. J (Converse is where he got those moves)
6. Reebok—Shaq, Iverson, Dominique
7. Nike Old School—Moses, Ice Man, Sidney, Moncrief
8. Converse Weapons—Isiah, McHale, Bernard King[1]
9. Puma—Walt Frazier, Ralph Sampson, George McGinnis (Big George dominated both boards. Wearing Puma Paws)
10. Pony—David Thompson, Bob McAdoo, Daryl Dawkins (his Pony’s inspired break dancing)
11. Pro Keds—Pistol Pete, Tiny Archibald, Willis Reed[1]
12. Asics—Alex English, Dave Cowens, Michael Cooper
13. New Balance –James Worthy, Kawhi, Matt “Red Rocket” Bonner
14. Avia—Clyde Drexler, John Stockton, John Salley. (Who could forget Dr. Drexler and Mr. Clyde?)
15. Nike’s Believe it Or Not—Manute Bol, Nate Robinson, Oliver Miller
16. British Knights—Derrick Coleman, Lloyd Daniels, MC Hammer
17. Warner Bros.—Glen Rice, Bryant “Big Country” Reeves, Bugs Bunny
The play-in game, #17 vs #16, features two less than classic NBA brands with two non-NBA players filling out the rosters. British Knights should have the advantage—I mean I’ve at least heard of them, and Derrick Coleman had some weird, solid commercials—and who the hell knew that Warner Brothers made a basketball shoe? Also, you have to give the edge to BK pitchman MC Hammer in his matchup with Bugs Bunny.
But wait a second. Are we really discussing the impact of Hammer vs. Bugs? Don’t talk to me about whatever Bugs might have done in Space Jam (never seen it). Hammer was a baseball dude and so was Bugs. And baseball dudes ain’t decidin’ shit.
So it comes down to the other four guys on the court. Glenn Rice and Big Country vs. Derrick Coleman and Lloyd Daniels. I say there’s a good chance Glen Rice gets hot and it’s enough to offset the advantage DC has against a didn’t-totally-suck Big Country. Then again, I only saw Lloyd Daniels when he played for the Spurs, after years of cycling through substance abuse and rehab. The best version of Daniels, the NYC streetball legend, supposedly passed like Magic and shot like Bird. I dunno, sounds like some Willie Mays Hayes bullshit to me but I should probably still check out this documentary. Even without having seen it, we have to consider that Sweet Pea would be enough of a force to make this game pretty one-sided. Just picture the long range bombs hitting the chain net. And driving no-looks to Hammer, who I’m assuming would be playing in Hammer Pants.
I guess it really comes down to how good you think Daniels really was. Or how good he coulda/shoulda been.
But what do you think? BKs vs. Warners Bros. Who ya got?
[1] Yeah I know, Magic and Larry wore them too, but they had to join up with Dr. J
[2] biggest what if of this tourney. What If Pro Keds Kareem had joined up with Tiny and Pete
instead of his Laker’s fam?
