Elon Musk Says the Darndest Things
Last week Elon Musk let it slip that Telsa has the designs for a James Bond style submarine car.
Oops! I mean, what are the odds he wanted something like that to get out?
Musk owns the actual 1976 Lotus Esprit that was featured in “The Spy Who Loved Me”. Because of course he does. Here’s a quote about it. "I was disappointed to learn that it can't actually transform. What I'm going to do is upgrade it with a Tesla electric powertrain and try to make it transform for real."
Speaking of transforming for real, has Elon said anything about making real-life Transformers?
Not yet. But he has said he wants to build giant, killer robots. I’m assuming for dove hunting.
Here’s some more shit Elon Musk (and I) have said.
Elon says Artificial intelligence is very bad. “I keep sounding the alarm bell,” Musk explains, “but until people see robots going down the street killing people, they don’t know how to react because it seems so ethereal."
Musk adds “So I figure the best way to way to make killer robots not seem so ethereal is to make a giant one of my own and go walking down the street with it.”
Ok, Musk did not actually say that last one. I did. But don’t worry. I have no idea how to make a giant killer robot. I don’t even own a hammer!
Elon Musk thinks flying cars are a bad idea.
Elon Musk thinks flying cars are a great idea if he’s making them!
He’s decided humans must merge with machines or become irrelevant.
I’ve decided to stay relevant by merging with a frozen margarita machine.
Elon Musk says he’ll probably move to Mars.
I’ve decided I probably won’t move off this couch.
Elon Musk says we’re probably living in simulated reality like The Matrix
And he’s supposedly spending millions to try help us get out of the Matrix .
Meanwhile, down here in The Matrix, he gets to date actresses and pop stars[1], visit the set of Disney’s new Star Wars show, and is part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. He also seems incredibly adept at running a perpetual PR machine that guarantees that he’ll continue to attract investors to fund any wild ass ideas that he’s actually not bullshitting us about.
Wait! I think I just figured something out! I have to move off the couch. The beer fridge is in the other room.
Elon Musk does so many things, he’s even launched his own satirical website: Thud! So I guess Leo Da Vinci can suck it because he never pulled that one off.
Thud! may or may not be real. Right now it’s just a website with a bunch of comedy writers’ names and a some funnyish pictures. Meta.
The site has a link to email the folks at thud.com. So I did. They haven’t responded yet. But that could be because I asked how weird it gets in the writer’s room when Mr. Musk pitches a bad joke since I know it must happen a lot. I thought it was funny; they’re probably a little pissedf. So? What's the worst that could happen.
Oh shit. There is a giant ass robot in the back yard. Just staring at me. Should I see if he’ll grab me a beer?
[1] Currently, it’s the artsy Grimes, but it seems like they may not be long for this world. Then, my bet is Elon does a complete 180 and goes blonde model. Because unlike most of us, he could do a relationship 180 every single time.